Will they never end?

June/July/August 2009

Dear uninvited guest around whom my dad once mentioned my wedding,

Thank you for the pricey gift that, though thoughtful, we returned for new curtains.  I know you’re an acquaintance of my parents, but I’m quite sure that I’ve never met you, so finding filler to make this note longer is quite difficult.  We use the gift we swapped for the gift you bought us every day, and we love them.  It’s pretty much just like we’re using your gift daily.

Sincerely,
The Staff of Professional Thank You Note Writers
(ie. Mrs. Newlywed)